It didn’t start here but it didn’t end here either.
(this is called Witchy Vibes, and was concocted at The Sapphire Hotel in Portland)
My husband has had cancer.
Ok. That makes it sound like Sad Hour doesn’t it? But we go to “bars,” whatever they are for both happy and sad, frankly. All emotions get to show up.
My writing is a pretty eclectic mix of essays and ephemera from my life ranging from the personal to the professional. I suck terribly at dividing the two and always have been-honestly, I have been an utter failure at siloing my posts because it’s my whole life and it all connects.
The common ground is that I’m endlessly curious about human beings and the systems they build, engage in, thrive in, survive in, or destroy. That includes everything from a family holiday gathering to the best workplace you’ve ever been employed at, to downright cults.
Cause really, the systems all play out along similar dynamics. Some are just healthier and more accountable than others and one of my simple beliefs is that it all depends on the health of (or the alignment of the dysfunction) of the people in the system.
Meaning, you can have the most well meaning loving people fuck that system up, or you actually could have some toxic folks run a (toxic) but high functioning group. It’s super odd.
Anyway, groups gather. They gather in person, in offices or homes or bars or parks and they gather virtually. They might even gather in a singular imagination. They gather in dreams. They gather, work or play, and then disperse. They knit together which has been torn asunder. They tear. They knit.
The one thing human beings don’t seem to do is utterly live alone.
That first line is still hanging there right?
My husband, someone who I have gathered with in a dyad (two) and in a family system (parents, inlaws, children, pets) for thirty years now, got diagnosed with a Mixofibrosarcoma. You can do the reading if you wish.
It was a sudden sharp turn in the road. We, or he really, discovered it in his thigh in April. and took off to Portland on a long I5 drive to figure out what it was.